Brother, Uncle, Friend

A few times a year I post about my brother Matt. It's usually around his birthday and the anniversary of his death. In between that time, I see various posts from different friends on FB regarding the loss of their loved ones. I often get very teary eyed and begin to think about my own brother.

I miss him, he was a pretty cool guy. But I think that what really gets me is that my kids, 2 of the 3, will never get to meet the   "Uncle Matt," I say "the," because he was quite and entity. Making an impact on all who knew him, including my oldest daughter Miya. 

Miya was about 4 when her uncle died. I remember telling her that he went to heaven and that we would not see him again. I also remember hearing her sing about him being dead, like a sad country song with lyrics made from bits of information she would overhear. While he was alive, Uncle Matt spoiled Miya-sand boxes, with colored sand! Giant inflatable swimming pool, with bubbles and a big stuffed red Clifford dog, these were just a few of the gifts he would come home with. There was also clothes and smaller goodies, he thought about her a lot. She was loved by him.

I know that my 2 boys and nephew and niece would have been loved by him just as much. I am sure that the family camping trips, boating adventures and family holidays would have been filled with small feet being chased by the Uncle Matt. 

The loss of any family member is hard, it sucks really, and the more time that passes the more healing can occur, but it can also bring about new hurts too. Siblings were our first friends, the first line of defense against parental tyranny. Or so we thought. 

As I see my kids grow, I miss my brother more, in a different way. I miss the idea of my kids having another uncle. As I am sure all of us do who have lost a brother.

So in true country fashion, and because I am sure my love of Tim McGraw would have been the topic of many laughs, this one is for Matt.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h3Wly8pBuEE

Graco and Disney

We have 3 kids, they range in age from 13-2. Today we all piled in the car to go and pick up a new Graco Ready2Grow, a sit and stand double stroller, because our younger boys like to be together, but it's better if they can't see each other...as we were driving I was thinking, with the youngest being 2 and 4, this will most likely be the last stroller we ever buy, hopefully.

I started thinking about having M, my oldest, over 13 years ago. I was young, had no idea about strollers or kids stuff, brands or anything. I had a very basic stroller an carseat for Miya, and very early I noticed that a lot of other people had MUCH nicer baby things.  Now I knew that someone would always have something nicer than I, that's life! ...but I really wanted my child to have nice things, and nothing makes a mom feel better than a nice diaper bag, stroller and carseat. Not expensive, nice. I guess this was phase 1 of early stroller envy...

I remember finding M a nice Eddie Bauer carseat and a really nice Eddie Bauer stroller, by Graco. It felt good.

Fast forward 8 years and it's time to pick out a travel system for J! What do I pick? Why Graco of course! I loved it. The cup holders, the easy ride, loved it!

So along came baby #3 and we reused a couple things and splurged in a "nice" double stroller! A Baby Jogger. It was great! ...until it wasn't. So here we are picking up our final stroller, a good ol' Graco. It's funny how something like a stroller and The Disney Channel have been family favorites for the past 13 years. Our lives are intertwined with amazing memories of Mickey Mouse and Graco strollers. As our kids age I wonder what will be next? Maybe Vans and BMX bikes? Or TOMS and surfboards? Maybe  VW's and Nikes, like my teenage years! No matter how it happens, we are definitely enjoying the ride! And I am sure Dora will also be a part of it...

It's 9:06pm.

Caramel Corn and Cemeteries

This weekend, my husband and I took a much needed break away, more for him then me of course, from the kids and headed out to Washoe County, Nevada (Reno). We headed out Friday, and decided to "just get on the road," and deal with the traffic. As we headed out of the area, I got hungry, but in an effort not to miss our check in deadline, we kept driving. Bad idea. Apparently, when I get hungry, I get a little (LOT) cranky (RAGE) and am not so nice (raging jerk). What does ones husband feed the wild savage wife when hunger strikes? Why caramel corn of course! 

We made it to our hotel with an hour to spare, checked in and started our adventure in Nevada. We found ourselves the next day in Virginia City, checking out the old mining town. My husband loves historic cemeteries, so The Silver Terrace Cemeteries was our first stop. I am all for history and exploration, but flip flops, GIANT WASPS, and loose gravel shortened my trip and I headed back to the car while my husband looked around more.

I always feel a little strange exploring a cemetery, like I am having fun where so many people have spent the hardest times of their life, so I try to take a different approach and read as many of the tombstones as possible. This is sorta my way of paying my respects and acknowledging the lives if people. And then we happened upon the babies, and the children, and those get me every time. We spent about 80 min there, and then hoped in the car and drive around more. 

Through the city, and on to Carson City. On the way there...I got hungry. Low and behold, the caramel corn came to the rescue. 

By the end of this trip, I think my husband was ready to write the caramel corn company and thank them for saving our marriage. 

We ended our trip and headed home today, well rested and ready to hug our babies and our big girl. We are very lucky to have great friends and family to watch our kids, so we can have our time together. 

I think I love caramel corn and if you have a chance, visit the Ghirardelli Chocolate Outlet in Lathrop, it's well worth the stop. 

It's 8:59pm

Full Hearts and Fuller Bellies!

Today a group of families that I grew up with met at a park to hang out and catch up. We are all grown up now, with kids of our own. Some of us have older kids, some younger, some both! What I loved about today was that no matter how long it's been since we have seen each other, we instantly connected over memories, food, family and screaming children. 

There were the baby handoffs, the shared child watching and of course the shared snacks! 

H and J each found a buddy, which made play time even more special and a little easier for me. Then after a few hours of sun and water play, came snack time. 

If you know Aunty Mama, you know I have snacks! Here I am, like an old lady on a park bench feeding the birds, they swarm at the sight of food, and I LOVED it! In a way, it mad me feel like even though I don't get to see all these awesome kids on a regular basis, I was still able to connect and pour (sugar) into them. It made my heart so full. Who knows when we will all be together again to have this time, but I know that whenever it happens again, it will be just like we saw each other yesterday and I will have a lot of snacks. 

I am also now the color of a coffee bean.

It's 8:08pm.

Pizza and Donuts

Today was a long day, a fun day, but loooong! My boys don't sleep like they used to, 7pm to 7am, it's a lot more like 830pmish to 230am to 5am to 6 or 7am...so my plan today was to run a few errands, lunch with a friend and a bit of shopping AND a nap! I was able to do everything EXCEPT the nap. But I noticed something's today. #1 I sweat a lot, Am I too young for hot flashes? #2 I get REALLY tired around 2pm everyday and #3 I don't like stuffed crust pizza. 

Oh and M loves Krispy Kreme donuts. So  does C, F, H and J. 

M had been asking for a drive to KK, and I felt obligated as a good parent to do so tonight. So we packed up the kids and drove up to Union Landing. 

While we were ordering, the person working there interrupts us to ask, "so are you getting a dozen or what?" EXACT words. 

I was shocked. I realized the older I get, the less customer service is a part of my shopping experience. I remember being trained to give excellent customer service at all my jobs. Was that so long ago? I felt old. 

It saddens me to think that in the world we live in, instructing your kids to be polite, respectful go getters is somehow squashing their creative spirit. It's sad that culture and world view, the things that make us diverse and unique are being diluted by the "everyone gets a trophy for trying, we are all winners, go with the flow, YOLO," attitude. It's not trendy to be rude, it's not cool to suck at your job, you should care. Someone worked very hard to establish that company that you are belittling with your bad attitude and lack if customer service. 

Sheesh. Dang slackers. Oh man. I am old.

It's 9:41pm

 

Boogers and Bald Spots

Today hubby and I had the sleep deprived delusion of giving H a hair cut. So our plan? Mom hog ties him and Dad tames the mane. Sounds easy enough? (Insert basket ball buzzer sound here) WRONG. Let's see, first act in this comedy of errors? Although I could restrain his body, his head moved as if he  was ready to spew green pea soup at us and chant in Latin. End result, an awesome bald spot, uneven lines and then clippers dying before we could finish. To add a little more specialness to the moment, the amount of snot coming out of H's nose rivaled that of a spitting camel. So needless to say, the haircut did not go so well, and when I left the house, H looked like he was attacked by a rouge group of toddler barbers, roaming the streets, looking for pacifier sucking victims. We knew 2 things, we would never do this again and this needed to be fixed BEFORE my mom came home and saw it. Grandma would never let us forget the time " you ravaged my poor babies head," so the plan? Clippers charge and H naps and then we fix the hair...now if you don't already know about my Super Hubby, he is super awesome and went ahead and fixed the hair while I was out. Not gonna lie, I was a bit nervous. Who held H down? Was any hair left? Then I get the text message. 

So here is H not boogery, not bald and not bleeding. 

Not too shabby! 

But something else had occurred with this big boy hair cut! H is acting like a big boy! He fed himself his yogurt, took off his own clothes for bath time and has been playing quietly! What?!? Was this some sort if freaky hair crack? When it came off he calmed down?!? Probably more likely that he is so traumatized from being held down and attacked with clippers that he is too tired to be naughty. And I'll take it!

I had a bite of my daughters Caramello cupcake from Frost in Campbell today. Now that is some dessert crack! 

It's 11:22pm

Big Boy Beds and Crackers

Today we said goodbye to our last crib, and put a twin sized bed in the boys room for H. I have to say it was a little bittersweet. This was the crib that both our boys slept in from the day they came home from the hospital. Both boys also learned how to propel themselves from this crib and both boys were dropped about 6 inches into the crib, J when my pregnant belly was to big to bend over and lay him down all the way and H when my back pain prevented bending...and H because he liked it too...

So out went the crib and in went a big boy bed. Along with the new bed came new matching bedding and a new nightlight. There are 2 little boys that live in that room now. The same 2 little boys that used to live in my belly. The same 2 little boys that will eat me out of house and home in a few years. The same 2 little boys that ate all of my cheesey crackers. I am sure it will happen again, and I can't think of another 2 little boys that I would rather share my belly, my life and my cheesey crackers with.

It's 9:39pm.

Whaling Cats and Leaky Diapers

There is nothing quite like being jolted awake by the sound of your screaming child in the middle of the night. It's good for us. It helps us remember we are alive, well just me, my husband apparently can't hear any of the middle of the night fun. It also reminds me that I can hold my pee for extended periods of time, while rocking a 2 year old bag to sleep, who woke up wet after leaking out of his almost dry diaper...hooray for leak guard. Oh wait... 

So while I am rocking my big baby boy, I hear his screams again! But I am holding him, and there is a pacifier lodged in his mouth, so how is that possible? Cats. The screams of terror are from cats brawling in the street. I wonder if they have a dance off? Like a Beat It video? I wonder if there is an MJ cat with a glove on one hand? I wonder if that's the sound I heard and jumped out of bed to? I wonder if my bladder will explode? Well at least H got a diaper change. I'm starving right now. 

It's 5:51am.

Hair and Trucks

So my boys are very different, one boy is VERY boyish-cars, trains, balls, boogers, etc. My other boy is very artistic-coloring, crafts, etc. Currently they are both "helping" my hair. I have a brush trying to detach any hair left on my head and a car driving down my highlight. End result?

It just glides right through mom! Dad will love it!

I think it's coffee time. 4 iced shots with a pump of white mocha. Caffeine uppers. It's 11am. 

There's a monster under the bed!

I woke up this morning to a screaming 2 year old with half of his body under his brothers bed. Not sure why he opted for the floor, over his bed? What do you do when the monster under your bed is your little brother? I pulled him out and rocked him for a while, then we watched some "shoo shoo shraines," and he felt better. But he also needed to be attached to me. Like I had a bathroom buddy attached to me. I never thought I would have to pee with a 2 year old trying to climb onto my lap...awkward...after about 40 minutes he decided that I was old news and moved on to prowling around downstairs, trying to score some treats from Grandma, because he knows I won't give him a tube of Pringles at the butt crack of dawn. Where did the Pringles come from?!? ...I don't buy Pringles...

I really think there are laundry trolls hiding my clothes. It's 8:43am. 

Ranty McRanty pants

Soooo....a few days a month I MAY have a little rage...perhaps hormonal, perhaps stress related, perhaps paranormal possession...ok maybe not THAT bad. It starts with irrational annoyance at the smallest things, usually cars parked to close or slow people, or people in diapers calling me mom, you know small things. Then I find myself wanting to kick the car parked to close to mine and give the slow people a little push (shove into the street) or hide from Thing 1 and Thing  2. In the past I have eaten comfort food, worked out, shopped, etc to help calm down, but recently I feel much more aware of the rage and less willing to spend money to feel better. The good news is that I haven't kicked any cars...I haven't aided any elderly people into oncoming traffic and my kids know where to find me. What is my secret you may ask? Ice water. I have found that a huge cup of ice water is an excellent way for me to calm down. Why? I have no idea, but I'm just going to keep drinking it. And I also went back and ate my daughters egg, just the yolk. It's  10:55pm.

No yolk for me

This morning my boys wanted pancakes and bacon for breakfast. I don't buy full fatty bacon, because that along with whole milk and real butter in my shopping cart looks bad, right?! So pancakes and turkey bacon it was. While I was standing over the stove, slaving away microwaving my pancakes...I realized that a protein shake today sounded terrible and a whole wheat English muffin, egg and turkey bacon breakfast sandwich sounded so much better! Why? Because I was so looking forward to that yummy yolkey goodness with my bread and dry bacon! ...see and right there I had already jinxed it. Kids eating and breakfast on the table. Time for mama! Oh wait, I also decided to make an egg for my disappearing daughter. Now 2 eggs, which one has the best oozy yolk potential, that ones mine! See...problem #2, I should have given the golden yolk goodness to my daughter, but instead I hoarded the yolk. Time to make my breakfast sandwich, bottom English muffin, 1 turkey bacon and throw down that egg and WHAT!?! ...the yolk breaks and shoots off the plate, I can't even dip now! Oh there's more yolk, let's do this! Top bun and...seriously?!? More yolk on the counter...now I am mad. So I sit down with my boys and yes I am not joking...the yolk...it fled from me...it ran away from my plate and on the table. Now I I was alone, that would not be a problem, that yolk would be swiped right up with my dry wheat muffin and in my mouth, but there are these 2 copy cats string at me...the yolk stays down. My breakfast was still good, minus the creamy golden goodness if the incredible edible egg, but no yolk for me. AND why the heck is there no iron in my $50 vitamins from GNC? Really!? For $50 they could slip a little iron into ANY of the 6 pills in that packet? It's 9:30am.